Lieblingstweets im Februar (Teil 1)

It's -26 in Hell, Michigan, for those of you who had stuff you weren't gonna do until Hell froze over.

— Elizabeth Bear (@matociquala) January 31, 2019

"Sag nichts!"
"Ich sag nichts."
"Und hör auf, das mit der Augenbraue zu machen!!!"

— hot‘n‘gun (@heart_n_gun) January 24, 2019

Hab' gegoogelt, wie man das Spielzelt flach zusammenlegt. Man dreht das so zu einer Acht und dann legt man die eine Seite auf die andere und dann FLITSCHT DAS SO AUF UND UM EINEN RUM, FRISST DEN HUND UND WIRFT DIE BLUMEN UM.

— AS (@wiase) January 31, 2019

WE DID IT. IT’S THE LAST DAY OF JANUARY. TOMORROW WILL BE FEBRUARY, WHICH *checks notes* IS WIDELY REGARDED TO BE ALSO TERRIBLE, MAYBE EVEN WORSE THAN JANUARY, BUT THREE DAYS SHORTER

— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) January 31, 2019

Von der Veranlagung her bin ich sehr fleißig, lebe das aber nicht aus.

— Frizzi F. (@FrizziFromm) February 2, 2019

Netflix should have a category called
"easy to follow while looking at my
phone the whole time"

— bubz (@WhiteBoyBubz) February 6, 2019

Schönster Schnüff-Satz des Tages: All dogs are therapy dogs. The majority of them are just freelancing.

— Anja Rützel (@aruetzel) February 8, 2019

Went to the dentist today. My teeth are fine. I just wanted to hear some of my songs.

— Richard Marx (@richardmarx) February 5, 2019

"Jolene…
Jolene…
Jolene…
JOLENE!"

Jolene: Oh my fucking God WHAT

— Cathryn (@AngryRaccoon2) February 11, 2019