my only wish for myself is to always be the sitcom B plot. You main character assholes are getting dumped at the altar or dying from too much amnesia or getting stranded on an island, but me? I'm dealing with Too Many Beets, or I found $100 on the road, or a bird is very here
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) June 13, 2023
Du liebst Zucker, möchtest aber nicht auf Zucker verzichten? Dann ist Zucker womöglich genau das richtige für dich.
— Gabriel Yoran | @email@example.com (@GabrielBerlin) June 15, 2023
man sollte im Sommer nix machen außer Nudelsalat essen und andere daran erinnern sich einzucremen
— E L H O T Z O (@elhotzo) June 20, 2023
Philip K Dick movies all have names like CORTICAL IMPASSE and are based on short stories called like "Let's See What's Going On Down at the Brain Factory"
— stú's in thr house (@rinbcage) December 13, 2020
Me: My beautiful daughter, I would cross oceans and move mountains for you. I would fly into the darkness if I knew it would make you happy.
Daughter: Can I have a Dorito?
Me: I’m sorry but these are, unfortunately, my Doritos.
— Momarazzi. (@Mirimade) June 28, 2018
RELATIVE: You know about computers, right?
ME (has a degree in computer science): No
— Caitlin (@caithuls) February 28, 2018
Welcome to Asteroid City. Population: 0 (because of the asteroid). Please drive slowly through our crater.
— Mollie Goodfellow (@hansmollman) June 30, 2023
Well this is it guys. We have to form hobbies and develop interests now
— Kat Tenbarge (@kattenbarge) July 1, 2023